EXPECT ZERO FROM THE EX

The relationship to the Ex is the most disturbing interaction that has to play out over many years. Unlike any other family member, whom at worst case scenario can be ignored or never contacted, the Ex is always present like a thorn that you forget about until some everyday decision arises and then the prick is there.

This is acerbated by the Ex being the parent of your children; a significant other to the ones you love above all others. They too love the offspring just as much as you. Yes they understand wanting the best life can offer for your children but usually what was once a joint dreamland of goals and expectations becomes a battlefield of disagreements. The stage for revenge is set and as time rages by, the definintions of the "best life can offer" separates.

The breakdown of relationship takes time and exposes a vulnerability deeply set in both people. This vulnerability is fuelled by broken dreams, anger and deceptive images of who they thought each other to be. Money and children become the vicious weapons to fight out the battle. These two items slash deeply into the wounds of disappointment. Each warrior knows well the vulnerability of the other which is why such successful blows can be dealt.

The saddest part of this is- In the beginning there was love, passion and a desire to create. The dreams, goals, lifestyles and children were the very glue that binds. Somehow over time all this turns like a darkening of the prism to hatred. Yes a harsh word but the Ex becomes the person who never cooperates, who never tries to help establish any aspect of your life, the person who considers you last or probably not at all. In many cases the person who goes out of their way to make life difficult. The Ex can wish you harm and wish that you were gone forever.

So why then are we surprised when the Ex constantly steps in our way? They are likely to become the obstacle to almost every road you want to take. If there are no expectations for consideration from the Ex, there is a reduction in the grief that can be caused. If you are separated and gladly so, why would the Ex consider you?

Time is the remedy.

Time to separate personally.

Time to separate belongings and reorganise family.

Time to adjust to new relationships that create an extended family.

Time to redevelop history.

Time is on everyone's side.


LYNDALL MCQUINN 2011

Labels: tales from tarot reader