WHEN BABIES COME.

For centuries womyn had no choice as to when they conceived their children. Womyn conceived and birthed their babies in a wide variety of circumstances, whether they wanted to or not. Entering into a sexual relationship held the inherent danger of pregnancy leaving sexual activity associated with fear of pregnancy and rejection. The blame for the "weakness" of consent lay squarely on the shoulders of womyn. Despite the intense repercussions for womyn, babies were still conceived and born into unwanted circumstances.

The flip side of the coin was the respectable married womyn who couldn't stop conceiving, whether they wanted to or not. Depression, injury to personal health or financial capabilities weren't a consideration. A cycle of another child, another person to feed and another being needing a mother to care for them. This situation left some womyn trapped in a hell that took their life force away.

Aren't we glad the times have changed? We are the first generation of womyn on Earth who can choose to mother or not. The freedom of choice has given us our sexuality. A chance to love being sexual without having to think about conception.

Of course there are still babies conceived unexpectedly. Babies tend to choose for themselves when they want to enter the world often surprising the unsuspecting lovers focused on the joy of each other. We still have teenage mothers and unplanned family members and children born out of wedlock. One of the new expanding groups in our society would be single mothers either by choice or by circumstance. We also have childless womyn. Some whom have gladly known motherhood is not for them and have chosen not to walk the road.

There is another group, however who face the unenviable situation of not finding partnership that is right for them, thus they are forced to accept that there are no children. The reality of this circumstance usually occurs in the late thirties as time forces drastic decisions. A womon can either go it alone and choose single motherhood or forget the dream.

Finding a meaning for life, post this realisation is often a gruelling and empty process.
So often in the healing of this process previous abortions spring to mind. Many times there have been in the pasts of these womyn a time when their wombs were blessed. Looking back ten/twenty years later the choice would have been different.

People choose abortions for many reasons, all of which are valid at the time of making and nobody can underestimate the enormity of the decision weighing upon these womyn at this time. Often it is impossible to see beyond the difficulty of the moment we sit in. The responsibility of conception still sits squarely on womyn's shoulders.

These difficulties are usually around relationships, finances, health and general inappropriate timing, however we are often not conscious of the fact that life has offered us a time to be a mother. Life does not always repeat opportunities. We need to add this awareness to our decision making. At the time of conception there may only be a sense of relief that we had the choice but for some facing late thirties, no relationship in sight and no children ever, is a daunting landscape. The lost babies that life once offered often haunt them.

It is a revolution to have choice. A celebration in the journey of being a womon. It is necessary to keep a broad perspective in making our choices, as we are absolutely powerless in hindsight.

Blessed be.
Lyndall